Rich Speaks…

Why the England football team is so rubbish.

I've argued this point in several pubs for quite some time, and it's not a difficult concept to grasp.

Th reason the England football team is so rubbish, is because players don't care.

Some players. Not all.

There are some footballers, world class footballers, who are regularly picked for the England team, who, given the option, would gnaw their own testicles off if it meant getting an England cap. I love these players. Even if they play for Manchester United. (I'd like to state my football allegience here - I support two teams: Huddersfield Town, and any team that's playing against Manchester United. Twice a year I even cheer for Arsenal.)

Last night, England played a "friendly" against the Netherlands. Or "Holland" as I prefer to call them. You know, those guys in the orange shirts who lost to Argentina in the 1978 World Cup Final. They're a good team - not quite as good as they were in their heyday (you can probably name a dozen top notch Holland players without pausing for breath), but still in the top five of the world football ratings. According to Gary Lineker, we're seventh. (If you're an England fan - if you're not, "we" could be anywhere).

Now, we fielded a pretty good team, on paper. And then we let in two goals before halftime. Despite being the better team on the pitch.

Why is this?

It's because we pick players for England who couldn't give a damn about playing for England.

When I was a kid, watching England was a joy - and often a disaster. There were some world class players who could stand head to head with the best players in the world (step up Peter Beardsley, Paul Gascoigne, Chris Waddle (all from the North East - but that's another rant)), there were less talented players who got into the England Team by pushing themselves to the limits and giving their all (hello Kevin Keegan, Peter Shilton, Stuart Pearce), and then there were journeyman players who got a game for England because someone better in their position was injured, and they were the best option at the time.

They were all heroes. All of them I've got them on football cards, I've got their pictures in copies of "Shoot!" magazine, I read about them in comics like "Tiger and Scorcher" and "The Crunch".

They were heroes, because even though they never won anything (I'm too young to remember Bobby Moore and his 1966 World Cup winning team), they gave it their all.

England currently have a crop of world class players; players who could fit into any club side in any of the best leagues in the world. England, Spain or Italy. The problem is that they get paid so much money - £100,000 per week and up.

£100,000 per week and upwards.

Would you like me to reiterate that?

One hundred thousand pounds. Every week. And upwards.

OK. We've grasped that.

Now, I don't know about you, but I earn less than a third of that weekly wage every year.

If I earned £100,000 a week working for my immediate employer, I'd possibly be uninterested in playing for my country - because I'm not getting paid for it. Hey - I might be on a goalscoring bonus! An extra £50,000 per goal!!! I'm not getting that playing for England.

Playing for your country - it's the greatest honour in sport. But you don't get paid. So, if you're that way inclined, and you get picked for England - you just run around the pitch in a rather bored fashion, while we, the football obsessed public shout at the screen. "RUN, YOU LAZY BASTARD!!!" etc etc.

It's not everyone. The likes of Steven Gerrard, Wayne Rooney, and even (although he's the most overrated player ever to step on a football pitch) David Beckham give their all, whenever they pull on an England shirt.

There are others, the players who know that they're not the most talented in the world, the Kevin Keegans and Peter Shiltons of today; they work hard and give their all. Look at Jermaine DeFoe last night. Two excellent goals.

However, the England team is full of insanely talented players who don't give their all for England because they're not getting paid for it.

Step forward: Frank Lampard, Rio Ferdinand, Gareth Barry, Ashley Cole. Emile Heskey, Gary Neville. And Frank Lampard again, because he's the worst. He doesn't give a hoot, as he's not getting paid for playing for England. He's one of the most talented players I've seen - but DOESN'T CARE about England, because he's not getting paid. All of them. This applies to all of them.

Playing for England is not a right, it has to be earned. The above-mentioned are all time wasting SCUM. You should be shot, the lot of you. Through the back of the head with a small bore rifle.

I hate to say it, but the most overrated England footballer I've ever seen, David Bloody Beckham at least gives his all in an England shirt. Runs around like headless chicken, but at least he tries. As do Wayne Rooney, David James, Steven Gerrard and even John Terry - they all CARE.

Remember the "scum" word. You carry the hopes of millions of people on your shoulders. If you can't be arsed, then at least have the decency to say so. Or if you're rubbish, at least try hard.

In the meantime, I'll carry on watching Huddersfield Town. They're at least honest. Which is more than most of the England football team can claim.

Spot on! I've a workmate who goes to all the games and I'm trying my best to persuade not to go to the friendly against Hungary in August. A boycott will show all of the preening showponies that we've had enough.
The players you've mentioned all deserve never to disgrace the shirt again, but I'll reserve special mention as you have done for Lampard,this particular waste of space would sooner see his smug face plastered all over the front pages of all the dailies with his latest bint. The two of them just about deserve each other, they both share an exaggerated opinion of their particular "talents"

Yeah, hits the spot on every count. Following England's performance in the World Cup 2010, I think you might want to reassess your opinions of Wayne Rooney - he is another of the uninterested time wasters. Why not shoot them in the back of their knees? That way, you'd have the pleasure of knowing that their careers are over with no way of earning ludicrous sums of money ever again!

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