Dear Bovine Descenders...
Frequently Asked Questions
- Is your service just for cows, or are you also available for emergency bull descent?
Yes, we can cater for both sexes of bovine, as well as all breeds.
- Do you have a maximum height limit? Would you be able to help if a colleague had inadvertently led a cow to the top of a crane or, as happens all too frequently, Blackpool Tower?
No, there's no height limit - in 1994 we sucessfully negotiated the descent of a Jersey cow from the top of the Eiffel Tower.
- Can you handle depths? Say I want to take a cow pot-holing, for instance, could you help?
We could assist in getting your cow down the into the cave system - however, for the reverse journey you would need to contact a reputable cow ascending firm.
- Is the cow damaged in any way during the descent? She's a very valuable show cow you see.
Absolutely not. While cow descent can be a technically difficult process, we guarantee zero damage to all bovines we deal with.
- Help, one of the bulls has invaded my second floor flat and is running amok. HELP! (submitted by José, Pamplona)
Unfortunately Bovine Descenders only work within the UK. We suggest contacting our sister company, El Bajar de la Vaca, Madrid.
Yes, we can cater for both sexes of bovine, as well as all breeds.
No, there's no height limit - in 1994 we sucessfully negotiated the descent of a Jersey cow from the top of the Eiffel Tower.
We could assist in getting your cow down the into the cave system - however, for the reverse journey you would need to contact a reputable cow ascending firm.
Absolutely not. While cow descent can be a technically difficult process, we guarantee zero damage to all bovines we deal with.
Unfortunately Bovine Descenders only work within the UK. We suggest contacting our sister company, El Bajar de la Vaca, Madrid.