How can you help?
"Relax lady, we're professionals."
With fifteen years of experience of cow descending, there's not a bovine around that cannot be got downstairs by Bovine Descenders. We are fully equipped with the latest in bovine descending technology to make the job as painless and stress-free as possible. However, depending on your location, it may take us a little time to reach you and your upstairs cow, so, until we arrive, here are some handy "Dos and Don'ts"
Don't:- Call the fire brigade; who will just laugh at you
- Attempt under any circumstances to get a cow downstairs without professional help
- Keep children and pets out of the immediate area
- Shut the windows to prevent any escape attempt
- Put on some relaxing music; but not 'Eternal Flame' by The Bangles, which has been known to induce diarrhoea
- Get a mop and bucket ready
- CALL BOVINE DESCENDERS NOW